Dear Jodie- Cheating
This month Jodie talks ‘cheating’.
Cheating is something experienced as the cheated or the cheater and sometimes both. What ‘cheating’ is, varies; a text relationship, kissing, looking… in a relationship you should agree on boundaries and expectations.
Being cheated on is painful. You have two options. Forgive and forget- if you cannot completely let go it will tear the relationship apart anyway.
Or leave with your head held high. Don’t dwell, don’t blame yourself- overthinking about what you could have done differently will change nothing.
Choose else it will screw you up.
If it’s a habit, definitely leave! Make success your only revenge.
If you’re cheating- whatever excuse- end the relationship. You’re either not happy or you have self-esteem or other issues. Before getting into any relationship, explore what makes you tick and what you want out of life.
I think my partner is cheating. Help!
Think or know? If you have a pile of evidence, your gut instincts, and even the milkman, are telling you yes then take action- leave.
If you’re paranoid, talk it through with your partner and make changes. Do they do something which fuels this fire- make comments/ always on phone- this needs addressing.
If it’s admitted and you want to stay together, be prepared to work hard at it. It can work if you’re good for each other.
I am constantly accused of cheating. It’s ruining our relationship.
Talk! Work out why. If you’re innocent and want to, then try. But give it a time limit- if you continually make effort and nothing changes, it’s time to walk away.
I cheated, it was a mistake and I feel so guilty. Should I confess?
If it’s likely to come out, yes, you could salvage some dignity for them. Otherwise no. Finish it, or learn from it.
If you’re NEVER going to do it again- if you were drunk then drink less- and it isn’t close to home, forget it and love how you’re supposed to from now.
Need advice? Leave a comment or contact me directly: firstname.lastname@example.org